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Jessica Tefenkgi Ruelle's avatar

Love this, and I agree completely. I like to rephrase "over-delivering" with exceeding expectations, delivering an outstanding service. Which I feel, when you care as much as I - you - we do, is a quite natural thing to do, right?

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Aurora Airaskorpi's avatar

That's a great word choice, I love it! Sounds much less exhausting than overdelivering which I don't think should be exhausting at all. Exceeding expectations is and should be fun and make us feel proud of our work ☺️

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Jessica Tefenkgi Ruelle's avatar

Exactly! Which for me meant that I first had to learn not to overpromise - a behavior from the wounded self who wants to prove that they’re worthy…

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Aurora Airaskorpi's avatar

What did it take to give up overpromising?

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Jessica Tefenkgi Ruelle's avatar

Love your question! I use IFS (internal family system) with my clients and with myself through journaling, and that was the most helpful: meeting the part of me that wants to overpromise, understand what it's trying to protect me from, bring awareness that I'm safe, reinforcing the evidence-based belief that I am enough, that I don't need to prove anything, or to "wow" anyone. That I'm worthy of love and safety just as I am. Learning to trust in my self, in my skills and talents. Accepting my limitations, and bringing awareness to my ADHD, that tends to forget that time is not flexible and limitless and neither is my energy. Writing down what I CAN do and within what amount of time, so I don't let feelings guide my promises. Yes, it's taken years. Yes, I still need the reminders :) Does it resonate with you?

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Karl Dunn's avatar

Great advice in here Aurora! I love the way that you define success early in the piece.

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