What’s it like when life as you know it crumbles down piece by piece?
What’s it like to write a book when publishers tell you your topic is too marginal and nearly impossible to sell?
What’s it like to reinvent yourself by getting a divorce, changing countries, going freelance and becoming a writer on your own terms?
What’s it like to self-publish a book, be featured in all the right places, but still realise it doesn’t lead to an insane amount of book sales?
These are some of the questions we cover in this vulnerable, heart-to-heart conversation with
, who is the author of How to Burn a Rainbow: My Gay Marriage Didn't Make Me Whole, My Divorce Did, a creative freelancer living in Berlin, and a motivational speaker. He also publishes a Substack called Undividing.This is the first part of The High on Hope Rebel Series where I interview people that strengthen my faith in choosing alternative life and career paths.
What I appreciate about Karl is his courage to write a book about something as personal as divorce and his personal unravelling that followed. I have interviewed many people in my life and in this interview you can really hear that he’s gone deep into self-inquiry and been able to turn that into a life and career that feels authentic to him.
However, as Karl says in the interview, it’s not about knowing what you’re doing but doing it anyway.
So, give yourself a break from whatever busyness you have going on and have a cup of tea or go for a walk with this one. There’s so much wisdom in Karl’s story that I guarantee you’ll be moved in one way or another.
Words of wisdom
Here are a few of my favourite words of wisdom from Karl from our chat. Dwell on them, watch the video to capture them in context, and share them with anyone who might need them today. Sharing is caring <3.
On publishing a book [15:49]: “You realize once you've published a book, it doesn't belong to you anymore. It belongs to everybody who reads it. And part of you now lives in them.”
On taking leaps of faith [29:22]: “If anyone tells you they're doing something and they started something and knew exactly what they're doing, they are lying. We are all making it up as we go.”
On leaving a career in advertising [39:29]: “Everyone in advertising talks about leaving. Everyone talks about going and doing something creative. Nobody does it because we have those golden handcuffs. Banksy once said it was the reason he hated advertising. It's not because it's advertising, but he said it is stealing all our artists. Because it's one of the few places creative people can get a regular paycheck.”
On being rejected by your community [46:47]: “I was like an outcast in the gay world because I kind of wrecked the dream for everyone. Like total strangers would walk up to me in bars and go, are you the one getting a divorce? I'm like, yes. They're like, well, thanks, man. Thanks for that. Thanks a lot. And off they go. And you're like, oh, are they all saying this?”
On finding unexpected allies [46:05]: “Something in my book that people found really interesting, particularly heterosexual guys who never have anything nice said about them during divorces. Like what you discover very quickly is that straight guys are always the villains in a divorce. Like if he leaves her, he's a bastard […] I met a lot of them going through my divorce. […] I found a community of divorcing heterosexual men in my company.”
On following your dreams [56:10]: “I would rather be doing this than working a job that I don't like. I would rather have these problems of following my dream and what I think is my purpose on this earth. I would rather have those problems that come with that than the problems of I'm in a job I hate.”
On purpose [56:44]: “You will always have problems. Just choose ones that mean something to you.”
To show ❤️ for Karl’s wisdom, get a copy of his book on Amazon and join his tribe on Substack!
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The High on Hope Rebel Series
This series of interviews features people who have taken a big leap of faith without knowing where exactly it will land. They’re also people who are breaking conventional rules about how to succeed in this world and figuring things out for themselves in inspiring ways. They’re the ones who publish a book even if people tell them it’s an impossible sell, leave social media even if it means slower business growth, choose ethical approaches to their work instead of maximising profit, follow a spiritual path rather than societal rules, share their stories even when they’re in the midst of personal turmoil, and open their hearts to talk about the good, the bad and the vulnerable.
They’re the type of rebels that the world needs more of.
They’re the people who create hope.
They’re the people I love to hang out with.
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Thanks for tuning in and giving my newsletter your time and presence. Let me know what kind of thoughts this interview sparked in you via email or comment below.
And when in doubt, focus on becoming the hope you wish to feel in this world.
With kindness,
Aurora
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